Authentic Relating

“Authentic Relating” is the name of a structured format for group social activities that encourages participants to explore connection, presence, and honest self-expression. It emphasizes practicing authentic communication in a safe, facilitated setting.

Core Ideas

  • Presence: staying connected to your own experience in the moment.
  • Curiosity: listening deeply and showing genuine interest in others.
  • Honesty: expressing what’s true for you, even if it feels vulnerable.
  • Empathy: tuning in to how others might be experiencing the moment.
  • Play: engaging lightly, creatively, and sometimes experimentally in interactions.

Typical Activities

Authentic Relating groups often use “games” or structured exercises that guide participants into specific ways of relating, for example:

  • Hot Seat / Being Seen: one person shares while others reflect back what they hear or feel.
  • Noticing Game: partners take turns saying what they notice about themselves, the other, or the connection.
  • Curiosity Questions: exploring each other with open-ended, genuine questions.
  • Circling: a group focuses on one person’s present-moment experience, responding authentically.

Variations

Often hosts invent and add various fun activities of unique interactions in small sub-groups, and then back in the larger group, participatns share about their experiences and learn from it.

Examples:

  • In a pair, each person uses one finger to touch one end of the same pen. The rule is they must not allow the pen to fall. One person leads some movement and the other follows, and then they switch roles. After 2 minutes, they stop and share how it felt to lead and to follow.
  • In a triple, one person gets five minutes to talk about a topic he or she is passionate about, and the two others only listen. Then the two others have two minutes to ask questions. This repates by switching roles. Sometimes people notice how their mind has various worries e.g. that the other people may be bored.
  • In a triple, the group has 10 minutes to do whatever they choose. They have to negotiate to decide. Sometimes people notice how they are concerned to voice what they really want, only to discover later that the other group members wanted something similar but everyone was afraid to say it.

Purpose

The goal isn’t therapy or performance, but to practice deeper, more genuine connection. Many people find AR helps them:

  • Become more comfortable with vulnerability
  • Improve listening and empathy
  • Develop richer social and romantic connections
  • Gain self-awareness through how others perceive them